School is life

I always liked school (well, except for a bit of fifth grade and a bit of my senior year of high school). So, it makes sense that I still do. I take classes online, and as of last week I'm also enrolled in a Saturday program to get licensed as a Pharmacy Technician. My sincere hope is that this field will allow me to be employed gainfully and contribute to my family's financial standing. My worst fear is that it won't.

I feel like things are spinning and I can't control them. I'm just sitting on the merry-go-round trying not to get motion sick. I guess you could say the main impetus for this life wobble is my lay-off. I felt it coming -- and emotionally I'm past it as much as I can be at this point. But, financially I'm really not past it. I'm still reeling and bitter. And I don't know how to change it. The only idea I had was to do this Pharm Tech program, but I hate putting all my eggs in one basket.

So, now I spend my days with my kids and doing homework; for Pharm Tech and for my other four online classes right now. I love them, and I'm learning a ton, but A's don't pay well. I'm truly enjoying my children, possibly more than I ever have, and I'm so happy about that. And thankful. But after I tuck them in and settle down for homework reality sets in.

Thank heavens for prozac!!!!! Not only the chemical, but the hope that it's distribution might help me get a job! ;)

As for now, I'm chugging along, trying to focus on losing more weight (ooh, that scale ticked me off this morning) and getting good grades and most importantly being the best mom I can be. Those are the things I can control so I will.